QUALL Qua All (As a Whole) 2005 WEDNESDAY, MARCH 02, 2005 Welcome To My Blog Since I already own several web sites, why need this? Well my politics need a home of their own. At gurf.com, a humor site, flametoons grind the hikinks. At warrenfarr.com, my art and writing home, anti-Bush mongering dares art buyers.
Henceforth if you like my style but are a bit scared of my politics, you can now feel secure at any of my sites— except this one.
For some reason people have me pegged as a Bush-hater. Can’t imagine why. If someone were to tell me, “Bush is going to be tried as a war criminal, what do you think?” I would nonchalantly reply with a question of my own, “Is there any way I could be a witness for the prosecution?” A Republican friend was over the other night praising the beauty and intelligence of Condi Rice. He told me how well she speaks Russian and I nodded, thinking that if she ever got around to educating me in her politics I’d want her to do it in Russian. We talked about local issues, which we often agree on. In reference to the problems a local gentleman’s club was having opening for business, he sympathized with demonstrators against the club, mentioning that perverts often frequent places like that. I assured him that the vast majority of us are harmless. I asked him if he finds any good blogs on the internet and he expressed disgust for all of them, “I want facts, not opinion!” What about editorials in the newspaper, I asked. He didn’t think much of those either. Guess I won’t have to worry about him reading this. He seemed perplexed as to why older people were mostly against Bush’s Social Security reform plan when they weren’t even going to be a part of it. I told him one reason might be the load on the deficit. I threw out some numbers— billions, trillions. He said he hadn’t heard it would cost extra, and thought that brokers would get little or nothing. I got one Bush jibe in, mentioning that I had heard on PBS how much Bush’s cuts hurt TennCare, a health program in Tennessee, the state to the south of us. It slid off like a raindrop on glass.
At least he brought some good fudge.
The army announced that recruitments are falling. If that keeps up it really will be an army of one.
The above cartoon, titled Metamorphosis, originally appeared in November at Gurf.com. When I posted it in a discussion forum it enraged many, who thought that the “W” referred to the President. Now everyone will recognize it as just the symbol of the neo-Nazi group World Church of the Creator, sans halo and crown.
The above cartoon, originally published in Gurf.com is perhaps my most-seen, having been picked up by Rising Hegemon. For those not familiar with the old cable television show, the cartoon is based on Mystery Science Theater 3000— MST3K for short— the heart of which was to spoof really bad old movies with esoteric wit.
In this case the characters in silhouette aren’t talking. They don’t need to. The picture says it all.
A break from politics— Last night AMW (America’s Most Wanted) featured a story on the Great Nickel Caper, AKA the Great Change Robbery, in which a courier absconded with $180,000 in newly-minted nickels. Ironically they were found buried in Florida, not in consequence of that particular investigation but via a routine marijuana-growing bust. Not long after the coins disappeared I was talking with Chad, a friend of mine. We were joking about the movie-making potential of the heist. I am not a script writer but was inspired. The movie would be about a courier who wants to steal money from the government, but knows that consecutive serial numbers on bills are too-easily traced. So he decides to take coins instead, since they don’t have serial numbers. The largest denomination coin in common circulation is the quarter, so he waits to get a truckload of those and makes off with them. Here’s the comedic part— It happens that the shipment of quarters is the first batch of a new state coinage. That issue is temporarily put on hold, and authorities send out an alert for coins of that state.
The rest is— well if anyone makes the movie, we’ll just have to go see it. Woody, the idea is yours!
This was my first cartoon that used photographs. In this case only the image of the White House was built from a photo— two photos actually, to remove some of the obscuring shrubbery. The flag was drawn using a graphics program. I try to make my cartoons language-independent— no words needed to convey the message. We Want Walter During Walter Cronkite’s interview on CNN yesterday, he said that reading the newspaper was key to staying informed, television not having enough time for sufficient depth in the 18 minutes or so (minus commercials) of the nightly news. He suggested that this lack of comprehensiveness on issues be made up during the hour-long news magazines, implying that less time be spent on sensation and more on hard news background. I agree. There’s always going to be a place for 48 Hours Mystery, one of my favorites, and interviews with celebrities. But there’s nothing like a 60 Minutes wherein all three segments are devoted to serious issues. If Walter would be willing, I’d like to see him host such a show himself— if not once a week then once a month, if not on one of the commercial networks then on PBS. It could deal with as many as three or as few as one topic per hour. Yes he’s 88 years old. But I’m hoping that by the time we boomers retire, age will be in. Seasoned maturity trumps glamour.
Federal and state government constitutions protect hard-learned wisdoms of the past against whims of the present. Walter, while he is still with us, could be our media constitution.
While we’re busy spending billions overseas waging war to supposedly fight terrorism, anyone here can go to a gun show, buy an assault rifle, and find a large crowd. We should be doing the opposite— improving living conditions and understanding between cultures.
I was really happy with the above cartoon, having finally gotten comfortable with techniques involved in piecing together diverse images. No one has accused me of going too easy on the current administration. Perhaps I’ll mellow with age— not! Debt Slaves Unite! It shouldn’t be surprising that the same lawmakers who exploded the national debt with war and tax cuts for the rich want to make it harder on the rest of us when we go broke. If companies get the new bankruptcy law, credit will get even easier than it is, further dividing the haves and have-nots. With wages low and hours long, more will resort to credit, which in turn will leave them that much more vulnerable in the event of job loss or other sudden reversal. How will those who need credit to make ends meet survive with increasing debt maintenance as well? Too often it is by following the example of Uncle Sam— more red ink. Without bankruptcy as a way to discharge debt and interest, the country will divide into two classes— a few rich folks collecting dividends on their banking stocks, and many debt slaves having to send monthly checks off to their creditors to pay those dividends. Here’s my plan— Everyone in government office who voted for the war, tax cuts for the rich, and tougher bankruptcy laws for individuals should be required to make monthly payments to the government until the increase they caused in the national debt is paid off, the same way they make the rest of us pay our debts. It won’t really take that long. At an average of ten thousand dollars per year per lawmaker, maybe less than a hundred thousand years. To show we aren’t as heartless as they, let’s make those payments tax-deductable. The Senate...beat back common sense proposals to exempt military service members and veterans from a harsh means test; give relief to people forced into bankruptcy by medical bills; discourage predatory lending practices by credit companies; and allow elderly people to protect their homes from seizure. —Ryan Spear THURSDAY, MARCH 10, 2005 Vodka Poetry I’d enjoy being a wine snob like Miles in Sideways but I can’t afford it. Not only do I drink Merlot, that war horse of art openings, but as it is being handed me I gratefully say, “I’ve yet to meet a Merlot I don’t like.” Nor for that matter Paisano, my jug of choice. I’m a relative newcomer to vodka, via Scotch and then Kentucky whiskey. I enjoy the brisk, dry taste, and can sing its praises even in its most economical form, the 1.75 liter plastic bottle. Fresh out of the freezer, it’s frosty and clear as mountain spring water. A zero-degree liquid, it pours like syrup— a non-fizzy, non-sweet 7-Up with a gentle bite.
A full bottle is as good as dying certain that heaven exists. Three-quarters full it’s a loving friend now and in the future. Even half full it’s a stalwart, its vertical corrugations a streamlined tower alongside your drink glass. One-quarter full and you start worrying about the next nine bucks.
Continuing my series of cartoons originally published in Gurf—
The difference the smallest change makes. “Give me liberty or give me death!” is one of the most stirring phrases in American history, spoken by Patrick Henry. Now reverse the letters in the word me. “Give ‘em liberty or give ‘em death!” is one of the most galling phrases in American history, enacted by George W. Bush.
To make the bomber in the cartoon I started with a photo of a Russian interceptor and added bomb bay doors. I thought the Russian jet had just the right look. My apologies to the Russians.
As an artist one of the things I most enjoy about visiting a large city is going to the arts district and doing a walking tour of the galleries. New York, Chicago, and New Orleans have art districts, and so does Paducah, Kentucky. Paducah, Kentucky? That is where I live. I’d always wanted to live in a city with an art neighborhood, but couldn’t afford to move. Then several years ago a local artist, Mark Barone, got together with city officials and proposed an incentive program to attract artists and dealers from all over to come and help revitalize Lowertown, an historic neighborhood here. It has been gradually building for several years now, but only Saturday did it feel like a real art district. All the galleries and studios were open from 1:00 in the afternoon to 9:00 in the evening. There were 29 in all, too many to do in one afternoon or evening, yet only half the number committed so far. It was one of the most beautiful spring afternoons to date this season, sunny and around 65. I decided to concentrate on the ones I’d never seen— there were still so many I missed a couple. Some consisted of a studio and modest display area, others had several rooms devoted to gallery space.
The artwork was impressive, as were the restored environments. But I had most fun talking to the artists and making new friends. Since the district-wide open house will be the second Saturday of each month through the rest of the year, I’m anticipating more such excursions.
The first part of the Twenty-First Century will see a decline in the power and prestige of the United States, the result of fear-based militarism and short-sighted nationalism. Fiscal irresponsibility will lead to the collapse of the dollar, precipitating a worldwide depression...This is a quote from Forecasts, one of the books in Faith by Reason, at unitheist.org, the Unitheist Church— at present an online philosophic project rather than a church in the traditional sense. Opinion about what the future might hold, with a bit of humor thrown in. Then I read this— While there was no known motive for Saturday’s slayings at a Brookfield hotel, the man believed responsible (Jerry Ratzmann) had been upset about a taped sermon by the (Living Church of God’s) spiritual leader, Roderick C. Meredith, according to a fellow congregation member... (who) reported that the sermon... dealt with a coming “spiritual war.”There were other troubles in Ratzmann’s life— unhappiness over being middle-aged and not having yet found a wife or started a family, and concern about a job situation. Still it is sobering. FRIDAY, MARCH 18, 2005 Terry Ratzmann’s Motive What motivates a seemingly mild-mannered guy to go on a murderous rampage? That it had something to do with his church seems likely. Since his personal computer contained encrypted files, it may contain a private journal or other documents that he didn’t want others to see. These would provide insights. If I had to guess based on what has come out, he suffered a crisis of faith. In his skepticism and anger vis-à-vis his church he reached a tipping point in which his entire belief structure collapsed— precipitated by something he read, or during a time of reflection. Because his church, which had fewer than a hundred members, discouraged dating nonmembers, he felt that they had so limited his social prospects that they were ultimately to blame for his loneliness and alienation. Of course he also blamed himself for subscribing to their beliefs, for chances missed and other regrets. Pinch
Yesterday I caught a checker at Aldi not wearing any green. I asked her if I could pinch her. She declined. Smart move. The prettier they are the harder I pinch, and she was really sweet.
Lunch consisting of warmed-over macaroni & cheese, Pringles, and a crisp Chablis. No more simple pleasures for hundreds of American soldiers and thousands of Iraqi men, women, and children killed in a needless war. Is Terri Schiavo Laughing? I’m not talking about facial expressions. I mean is she laughing at us from the hereafter, for making her remains a political football?
No she’s probably crying, for our not having put her body on an operating table, thus being allowed to share her organs— no longer needed by her— with those dying for them.
Guys hate to admit they’d rather cozy-up with a movie and a lover than hang-glide off a cliff— we are expected to like living dangerously. I believe most men prefer living safely regardless of what they say, wishing chicks would find that more appealing. Thank goodness for our liberator, Woody Allen, who in comparison makes us all feel like cool danger freaks.
Let’s see, who should I invite over to watch Bananas?
If you enjoy Quall, consider yourself lucky. I very nearly lost my life tonight. I did watch Bananas, but instead of with a date (do you know any women who return calls?) I substituted a jug of VOB 86 and a can of Pringles Onion Flavor. I’m telling you from experience, very recent experience— VOB 86 and Bananas is a dangerous mixture. During the trial scenes in the movie I laughed so hard I came as close to dying as I have ever been in my several (note the fudging) decades of life. Not that dying of laughter would have been a bad way to go. It would definitely have been the second-best way to go.
You are forewarned. All I ask is this, and I assure you I’m not being corrupted by lust for lucre— this is for your own good, and maybe mine. The only thing I ask is that if you drink whiskey and watch Bananas, you make me executor of your estate.
When I first decided I was an ultra-romantic I was higher than a kite. Then I crashed to earth. Ultra-romantics can’t form relationships because no real person comes close to their fantasy lover. Over the years I realized there were only three types of relationships. In the first type I’m attracted to her but she’s not attracted to me. Since it takes two to make it go, it doesn’t go. Might as well beat my head against a wall. In the second type she’s attracted to me but despite my best efforts she doesn’t light my fire. No better results than in the first case. Then there is the third type. Neither one of us is attracted to the other. That is the best situation of the three since neither of us tries to prolong it, and so it is over with quickly with neither of us the worse for it. I’ve never been in love. I’ve never been married. I’ve had crushes on women many times but it wasn’t reciprocated. There have been many women who have had crushes on me but it wasn’t reciprocated.
How do so many people manage to fall in love? How do so many people get married? I wouldn’t marry someone unless I loved them, and I’ve never truly loved. I don’t understand it. What don’t I understand?
1. You call soap operas stories. 2. You call turning on a stove burner turning on a light. 3. You call linoleum a rug. 4. You call a harmonica a harp.
5. You have to step out the front door to do the laundry.
From MSN.com— “The Bush brothers have both been good to some groups that have been called cults,” says Rick Ross of CultNews.com. “Governor Bush has recognized Scientology while his brother in the White House has actually appointed a follower of Reverend Moon [David Caprara] to dole out tax payer money through the so-called faith-based initiative...”Unitheism has been called a cult at the Wealthy Boomer forum. Give me a call Dave to arrange a direct deposit. FRIDAY, APRIL 22, 2005 Dark Night of the Soul There was one night a couple decades ago when I was thirty thousand in debt, broke, and loveless. That one night of my life, as I settled in bed, I decided it wouldn’t matter to me if I ever woke.
But that was then. Now I’m thirty thousand in debt, broke, loveless, and the happiest guy in Paducah as I think about all the wealth and love I have to look forward to!
Once again I along with millions of others watched the conclusion of another Apprentice contest. The winner was— Donald Trump, as usual. But also NBC. The loser was the viewer. Why? The commercial load. The first half of the hour-long program was fine, but the second half was as much ads as program. The quantity was truly offensive. I have always enjoyed the program for both the creative ways the assignments are accomplished and the Donald’s ego, which dwarfs the Titanic. But after that ad regimen Thursday night I’m going to think twice about getting involved in another season of the show. That despite my admiration for his Twin Tower restorative challenge to the Freedom skeleton. Every old movie set in NYC cries “Bring ’em Back!” |
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© 2008 Warren Farr, revised 1/16